Embrace the Gift of Rejection - Yes its a Gift.
Before you shut out my logic here, listen for a minute. Rejection sucks right? It's the basis of many of our fears. It hurts deep - it evokes humiliation. It makes us question our self-worth, our physical beauty, our prominence in the work-place, our placement in the mom's groups - all of it....REJECTION SUCKS...
I get it however lets take a walk way out of our comfort zones. What if we were to welcome it with grace and with open arms embrace rejection? I'm serious. I know my readers tend to be in the same space as me - maybe divorced, trying to find themselves again, trying to maybe find love, trying to feel beautiful again - so why welcome and embrace rejection.
Well for many reasons - In my 20's and early 30's I did not know rejection as a general rule - I am sure it happened, but I was too busy feeling all 20 and 30 to know it happened. Make sense? I was also not taking chances across the spectrum of circumstances in my life to even have to face rejection. I had a great career and it was moving in a logical order, I had a beautiful son and he was developing perfectly, I had a husband then a second husband immediately after - no room for rejection anywhere.
When I became 37 and single for the first time in my entire adult life, at the same time I realized I was drinking way too much wine, and in that period of wineage, had allowed my body and health to turn into a shit cyclone - I was about to realize rejection on many levels.
It took me two years to understand why this was a gift from the great universe. I was forced to get super tough and not just talk tough words. I was forced to fix myself and admit I had fixing to do. That sucks! It sucks because you are admitting you need work and in admitting you need work, you might even be confessing some of those rejections you are facing may be founded in some truth. That realization means you cannot any longer hide behind the "I am an independent strong woman and if a man wants me, he will take me for what I am"...no he wont and he does not need to so now rejection has forced you to face that you can be more. And you can be better and it is actually perfectly ok to want to be better for the boy, to better for you, to be better to bring better into your life.
If I still have you with me, here is another reason to welcome rejection into your life. Because the universe is speaking to you. The universe is ensuring that you do not settle. In your brain, in your tiny little view of reality, you may have decided that the job you applied for is exactly what you needed. You may have decided the apartment you wanted was perfect and you deserved it. You may have known for sure that the man you dated twice should be your new husband. The universe knows better. And because we are too small-minded as needy humans to see it and reject the situation ourselves, the universe hands us the rejection. Have you ever faced rejection and total devastation from it - only to find the very next scenario in your life was far better, safer, stronger, more beautiful? I do not think that is accidental. I think it is purposeful and with intent.
For example in my dating life, when I first was separated from my husband, I dated. I dated stupid - with no clue how to, no clue what I was worth, no clue how to act, how to treat the man trying to also figure it out. And I dated men that would never develop into a successful relationship with me. Rejection happened on both sides and it burned and it pushed me FORWARD with every attempt. I look back now and thank God and the universe for ensuring I was not left to my own devices in a vulnerable time.
Second example - in 2015, I was laid off of work for the first time in my career. I was actually told that the company could hire four young people for what they paid me....rejection...it burned. I was devastated. I was also launched forward into the best part of my career. The fire lit under me after those words made me work as hard as I could, take chances, and launch into a whole new arena in my career. Never would have happened without that burning rejection.
Here is the deal - we have to accept that we cannot live in our comfort zone. It is not just a fun meme when someone posts that life begins outside of your comfort zone. Its a fact and the reality is that life really only exists outside of your comfort zone. So you have to accept rejection as part of the plan, part of the cycle, and use it as a tool to elevate your positions across your spectrum of life.
Rejection always hurts, itches, feel funny, uncomfortable, strange - but so does growing new skin after a wound, and I am sure sprouting wings probably has all of those same feelings.
You cannot grow, you cannot be better, you cannot realize a best life without rejection. However, you can miss the entire gift that the universe trying to give you if you decide rejection means you are a victim. Get over the victim mentality. Quite honestly no one cares for it and no one is going to swoop you up and make it better. Also do yourself a service and accept your role in the rejection activity. Yes, you played a role in so accept it. You have to stop saying "well it was all them...they suck" they might actually suck, but you may have actually sucked in that scenario too - even maybe a little. If you were rejected, it means it was an engagement of some sort and an engagement means there was at least two entities - so it takes two to tango and you have to find the reasons your own self influenced the rejection.
Understanding rejection as a gift has the ability to launch into greater things if we see the gift, if we feel it and know it , and if we dig deep for personal responsibility. And if nothing else - if you want to look at it from a purely selfish perspective, embracing rejection and becoming amazing after it is your one shot to throw a big "F YOU AND LOOK WHAT YOU MISSED OUT ON" to the entity that rejected you.
Go live well, live strong, and kick fucking ass doing it!
